Respectfully Me

Why are there always people in your life who can control certain aspects of who you are? it’s a hard thing to stop when it has been happening for so long. You feel like you need there approval for everything. You hardly ever feel like your making a decision fully on your own. Its hard for you to distinguish what is really you and what isn’t. You get so lost in the mix of your decisions and what are your influenced decisions, that its like a burden you find yourself trying to get free of. Not trying to make the other person upset or not even that is just trying to keep everything pleasant. To please everyone without making the other person mad. This is of course if your dealing with more than one person, which most likely you are. Once you start this habit it is a pattern that you develop with most of the people you love, and you want to keep loving you. It’s not really like you believe their going to stop loving you but for some reason you still don’t stand up and put an end to it. You are aware that it has to stop and you want it to; however it not just that simple. What seems to be amazing is the fact that you stand up to plenty of others and you even don’t fall prey to giving your kids whatever they want like most parents do. You even criticize them for giving in. So why do you give in when it comes to your situation? You prefer to be free and tell them no, heck no and leave me alone that takes guts. You seen what happens when you don’t agree with them and you tell the truth, it doesn’t seem to go over smoothly. What is really nerve racking is when you find yourself in between two people you try so hard to please, and you continue to please both, even when there on opposite sides. Talk about wearing you out! It’s like carrying around an extra person who tells you what you can and cant do, but you’re a grown person. Your constantly asking yourself will he like it what will he say. What will she think will she approve. It’s too much when all your really contemplating is buying a sweater. You know whether you want to buy the sweater. You just don’t know if he does or she does. Why cant what you want be good enough right? You feel like you cant dress yourself or even decide whether you want to go or not. Deep down you know what you want to do, at least some of the time when your not dealing with guilt. The only thing is you don’t know if its ok to want the things you want. Is it a sin to want to buy yourself a sweater, or a COAT, but you feel like it is. Or is it just that your made to feel that way. You feel much like a little kid who always needs to ask permission. Its embarrassing. Not to mention the person your with, you know “the other one you want to please” seems to think you should buy the whole store just because its cute and its your size. They don’t realize that contemplating the sweater was bad enough. You don’t have any energy for anything else less known the whole store. Now spending all day with this person has suddenly become exhausting. You don’t want to have these things they want you to get anyway, just some of them. You cant help but notice anyway that they have tons of stuff for you to buy but nothing for themselves to buy. You can’t help but think, “This can’t be healthy.” What does it take to free yourself why is this such a big deal. Nobody else can possibly be dealing with this issue on this level. Not true! Many of us have our own issues whether they be extreme or minor. The thing is, our issues however big or small hold us back from the things we really want in life. They cause us to live life unsure of ourselves and unfamiliar with the person we really are. Deciding who your are based on who you want to please is not it. It can only cause resentment. You end up resenting that person when they don’t even know what the problem is. It’s an internal issue. You must become confident in the things you like and the decisions you make even if you don’t have approval. When your can do this without blaming others or becoming angry with others to the point you don’t want to be around them; then you have made serious progress. We have to allow others to be themselves without our influences. Allow them to like and do things that we don’t agree with especially when it’s healthy for them. We understand our health but no others. Realize the health of others and allow them breathing room. That’s freedom