This is something I have found to be true. It's their view of situations and what it teaches them that speaks to me the most.
For instance, remember when you were younger, how often times kids would get in to it, and argue and fight with each other. Usually it was their best friends and people they would play with everyday that they would fight with. It seemed to always be over something petty and stupid and they would have a disagreement and shout "I'm not your friend anymore!"(or "I'm not your brother anymore", like my 4yr old likes to say to his brothers, as if thats something he can undo). Children tend to get in these type of dispute with each other all the time, but the next day everything is always fine again. The very next day they are back playing as if the dispute never exsisted. Especially if their is no parent involvement, because we can sometimes escalate minor situations. However, to the kids everything is fine. As if the phrase "I'm not your friend has only a 5 hours limit. I tell my oldest son all the time, when he gets into arguments with his friends that they will be buddys tomarrow. At the time he's thinking "yeah right!" Yet the next day things don't seem so bad anymore. This can become irritating to some adults, but their is one aspect of this that I love about kids. This is almost like a teachable moment for us. It's in these situations where you see the heart of children. They are willing to let go of something and not hold on to grudges. Somewhere along the lines we loose this ability as adults. We allow petty, minor, little things to control our relationships and in some cases our lives. Children get upset, they lash out even by cutting ties with the friendship, but the next day begins a new day for them. As adults we go through years of anger and grudge before even realizing we're holding a grudge. How would it be if each day was new for us as adults? How many frienships and relationships have been ruined over things that mean nothing. Often times after years of being mad, we don't even remember why we were mad in the first place.
Note: If you don't remember why your mad at someone, then it's no point in being mad.
I've even noticed times where the anger would wear off, but we will re-kindle it in order to stay mad. This is most common amongst spouses and relationships with dating and even family. You try to hold on to anger because you feel you have that right. I've been there before. I admit it didn't get me far. Yet this is what you tell yourself, "I deserve to be mad, after what they did!" What you're really saying is, "I deserve to be held back from living my life and doing what it is I should be doing, because I'm to busy keeping track of my anger." Doesn't sound very smart does it? However there is something freeing about moving on and forgiving someone, even when they don't necessarily deserve it. It frees up your life to move on to much better things. I think that's why kids don't bother with grudges. It's too much work, they don't have time. Forgiving is weight lifting, especially if you have many people to forgive. We see it as giving them power or giving away power, but it's more like gaining power for much better things. Like my husband always says, "It's Nothing!" Well, you can use that saying too. Here is a saying my former pastor always used, Life is 10% what happens to you,90% how you respond.(-Thanks Pastor Forbes!). I love that saying, it's so true. How do you respond to your situation? Are you letting what happens to you be your 90%?
Access your relationships and see if you have any gudges that fall into the petty category. If so I encourage you to visit your childhood days and decide if your gonna let tomarrow be a new day. Remember "It's Nothing", unless of course you make it.
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